God submits a grant application to the Canada Council
Purpose of the project: To create a world.
Detailed description: In this multi-disciplinary, cross-genre work, I intend to create a self-sustaining performative experience based on the geometry of the sphere. It will draw on my unique background in arts and theoretical mathematics, incorporating prose and poem with theatrical techniques.
God considers what to add.
She knows she wants her world to be
round, and breathing. Movement, too –
the whole thing should shimmer
and shift. She has a picture in her mind
of great indeterminate beasts
shuffling through some waving stuff.
Sounds, as well – booms
and crashes, sussurations.
Something that goes hiss-sss-ssss.
Can she manage smell? How would that
work? Some medium to float
triggers in, perhaps, and then
a tissue of receptors
to twinkle at cinnamon. Yeah,
she could come up with something.
The project will culminate in a performance lasting seven days. Given the potential audience interest, I feel confident the project can travel and be repeated in other venues.
Oh, geez, she’ll have to find
an audience somewhere. Need
to think of that.
Budget: Subsistence, twelve months at $1900. Materials, nothing. (She’ll work with what she’s got lying round out back.) Venue rental: $2,000. Miscellaneous: $200 Total $25,000. (Might as well ask for the max.)
God sends the application in
and waits. The jury process takes
eternity. She keeps noodling
on the concept, realizes
it’s going to take a whole lot longer
than she thought, to conjure
‘theoretical’ into ‘applied.’
How does she get everything to stick
on some slippery cerulean ball?
She’ll need to create some force
that grabs a hold. And then that bright idea
about receptors – they’re trickier by far
than she ever thought at first. What the hell
is she going to mount them in?
She half-decides to let the idea go.
She could do something simpler with a foam,
maybe. You’d get some nice effects
just swirling that around. Leave words
out of it, forget the ‘prose and poem.’
She’s forgotten where she put her notes
when the envelope appears.
The grant has been approved. “Oh, shit,â€
she thinks. “Now they’re expecting it.â€
She sighs, dispirited, then peers
at the amount she’s been awarded.
Sure they gave her what she asked for.
But how is she ever going to live on this
for fourteen billion years?
by Alice Major, from “Standard Candles”, University of Alberta Press